It has been a while again since I last made
a blogpost. This is because I'm busy with moving into my new place, where I'll
be learning how to live on my own.
I've never moved to a new house in my life.
I've always lived in the same city, in the same house. This worked fine for me.
I'm not moving to a new city,
but just moving in itself is a whole new experience for me. I never knew how
much needed to be done, how many new skills you need to learn, how much certain
things cost, what companies you need to deal with, what insurances to get...
It's all so much!
And that's just all the practical stuff. I
have problems with change, remember? This is a really big change! So we had a
big meeting with my psychologist, two coaches, my sister and my parents. In
this meeting we decided I'd move at my own speed. No hurry. The move is a
learning experience all by itself. No need to rush it.
This makes me the last person in the
building to make the full move. This has hurt me a bit, as it took me back to
the time where I still went to school and I immediately was the odd one out,
because I couldn't go to school full time. People would ask me if I wanted to
tell people about my disabilities or not. I would tell them there's no point in
hiding it. I'll be 'that girl that's always absent' anyway. Might as well
explain it to them.
This is how I felt about moving in last
too.
But the other guys (yes, everyone in the
training, besides me, are guys) have been very nice about it. They have offered
their support where-ever they can. Bless them!
As you can read in the above segment, the
move is also bringing about a lot of feelings from the past. In other words, my
trauma. I'm going to be around a group of people my age 24/7. That's bound to
trigger a thing or two from my past. And it has. But we're all working on it
together. I really hope this will end up to be a good experience. That'll be so
great! I've already ran into a few obstacles. Other people having other
routines than me, my coaches not knowing fully how to specifically communicate
with me, having to rethink my financial situation, etc.
The last few weeks haven't been easy for
me. But I got such a great support system. I love everyone who have supported
me so far and is still doing so.
It's hard to write about every aspect of
moving into a new place. There is just so much! It has an impact on all of my
disabilities, but also on the whole of me as a person. I think I already
thought it wouldn't be easy at all, and even then I might've underestimated it
a bit.
But right now the walls are painted, the
floor is polished, the curtains are up, the bathroom is functioning... All that
needs to be done now, in a practical sense for my room, is to put in furniture.
Then the room is ready for me to move in.
I won't lie to you. I'm scared. I really
am. But I'm also excited. Excited enough to push through my fear. So let's go
for it!
